An addendum for "Ugly Girls" . . .
Yes, I actually wrote all of that (even the "self-help" stuff which sounded so trite, as if I'd lifted it from Doctor Date, Love Lines, or some such syndicated whatnot. I made it up as I went along, and I do believe most of what I wrote) in a single take, even stayed up all night, right after coming back from a visit with a bartender friend.
The first time I read your "Ugly girls make better girlfriends" profile I was in a rather suggestive state of mind. Bear in mind that I am a drinker of alcoholic beverages, beer in particular (a regular, but not heavy drinker, it's part and parcel with my occupation) but I do not partake of other medications or substances, and was rather sober at the time I read your headline and profile. The thing is, it made me feel a bit sorry for you at first, probably because I could not read through your sense of humor with the whole "ugly girls" bit. I really wanted to protest, to stand up and shout "You're not ugly, you're BEAUTIFUL!", but then I realized the nonsensical nature of 'standing-up' online and of shouting (all caps, I know), and just kept your profile in mind for another time.
The next week I wrote you, after coming back from a weekend vacation.
It's true, you are beautiful and even sound quite intelligent and sincere. And yes, as I said, you really are the spitting image of my ex - what a coincidence, huh? Therefore, (apart from the existing age difference) your physical resemblance to my ex is a HUGE reason why we should never meet or even correspond via email, IM, or what have you. The physical similarity alone is not simply a hurdle but an inpenetrable impasse.
You do indeed sound sincere, like a young person who's had their heart broken (hey, it happens to almost all of us. It happened to me at age 25 and age 30. I hope it never happens again, and in order to act upon my 'hope' I will basically stay out of the dfating game for the rest of my life. The last time almost killed me.)
I do wish you the best of luck and pray that God be with you, even though you're not religious.
Take care.
The first time I read your "Ugly girls make better girlfriends" profile I was in a rather suggestive state of mind. Bear in mind that I am a drinker of alcoholic beverages, beer in particular (a regular, but not heavy drinker, it's part and parcel with my occupation) but I do not partake of other medications or substances, and was rather sober at the time I read your headline and profile. The thing is, it made me feel a bit sorry for you at first, probably because I could not read through your sense of humor with the whole "ugly girls" bit. I really wanted to protest, to stand up and shout "You're not ugly, you're BEAUTIFUL!", but then I realized the nonsensical nature of 'standing-up' online and of shouting (all caps, I know), and just kept your profile in mind for another time.
The next week I wrote you, after coming back from a weekend vacation.
It's true, you are beautiful and even sound quite intelligent and sincere. And yes, as I said, you really are the spitting image of my ex - what a coincidence, huh? Therefore, (apart from the existing age difference) your physical resemblance to my ex is a HUGE reason why we should never meet or even correspond via email, IM, or what have you. The physical similarity alone is not simply a hurdle but an inpenetrable impasse.
You do indeed sound sincere, like a young person who's had their heart broken (hey, it happens to almost all of us. It happened to me at age 25 and age 30. I hope it never happens again, and in order to act upon my 'hope' I will basically stay out of the dfating game for the rest of my life. The last time almost killed me.)
I do wish you the best of luck and pray that God be with you, even though you're not religious.
Take care.
posted by BeerPimp at 8:26 PM
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